• Etinosa J Ogbevoen

Self Love + Spring

Random thought of the day: April is my favorite month and there are lots of times where I really wish I was born during this month, but that was a side note.

I'm so glad spring is here. 75 degree weather and me are basically best friends. I love that I don't have to wear bulky coats anymore and that my color palette is brightening up. Usually I'd do a style post on my outfit but I really wanted to focus on the topic of S E L F L O V E.

I have been going through what seems like a lot to me. I was dealing with stuff from my relationship and it really opened my eyes to personal things I was lacking. I would consistently profuse that I wasn't happy and it was easy to blame others for my unhappiness. Honestly I had lost myself and I had put my happiness on a hold, on the back burner. I stopped doing things that made me happy. I'd wait for other people and when plans would fall through I would find myself so hurt and it would affect me so much. Once i was able to recognize that this wasn't the person that I saw myself as or wanted to be I started to do things to get back to myself.

Here are a few of the actions I took to show myself some L O V E.

1 | I started actively listening to church podcasts.

I have always proclaimed that I am a Christian but never really did anything to further my relationship with God. So I downloaded Joel Osteen's podcasts and Elevation Church and what I realized was that I needed guidance from another source. I was so caught up in living my life the way I wanted and it was so easy to give into temptation and make wrong decisions. If you're not a religious personal I always found it helpful to listen to inspirational talks. Ted Talks are great because they get you thinking outside your bubbly and humble to see that things could be worse.

2 | Started doing things that made me happy.

I realized very quickly that a lot of things that i was doing were to make other people happy. Not that I was miserable it was just that it wasn't something I necessarily would have picked for myself. When i started doing things that made me happy I realized that I would be doing some things alone and that was scary at first. I have found therapeutic to just go out and do things. I'm the type of person who can write a list of things I want to do and love he satisfaction of getting those things done.

3 | Being at peace with being alone

When I first moved here I was absolutely miserable because I always felt lonely. It didn't help that I don't know too many people in Kansas City and that my other friends from college seemed like they were living the dream. I had to learn to embrace my independence. I couldn't think of it was being lonely or else I'd just stay in bed sad, missing my friends. I'm not going to lie there are still days where I just want to be surrounded by people but I enjoy having my own space to do what I want when I want.

4 | Set Boundaries and Lines for myself

Part of me thinks I was living out of control. I was doing things that were out of character and that I'd never thought I would do. I had developed bad habits based off of anger and feeling unappreciated. So I made a declaration to myself that I would list a bunch of things that I can do so that others would respect me as a person and the life that I am trying to live. Honestly, this is easier said than done. I have had battles with myself debating on whether or not I should cross one of my own boundaries. I had no one else to keep me accountable or to discipline me so I had to learn how to do it myself. It has been hard but the small changes I've made have bee great for learning to love myself.

5 | Complimenting Myself

I literally have to pat myself on the back all the times to know that I'm doing a good job. That I'm working towards being a better woman to becoming the woman I've always envisioned myself as. For a few weeks I didn't even touch my makeup or wear a real bra to work. I was so down and at such a low plus that I couldn't see anything good in myself. Slowly but surely I started to take care of myself. I ate better, I exercised more and I was so proud of myself. As horrible as I felt i would give myself little compliments. I was learning how to validate myself instead of fishing for compliments from others.

I never realized how important self love was until I felt like I had lost myself and my happiness. Every one will have their own journey in loving themselves. I hope the things I did helped kick start you on your self love journey.

Since I love clothing so much It wouldn't be fair for me to finish out this post without giving to outfit details and tips for spring.

Off Shoulder Sweater | Gap

Dark Wash Jeans | Gap

Olive Sandals | Primark

Pink Tassel Earrings | Forever 21

I like to stick to the basics but some times that can get boring so for spring my secret to bring some color in is incorporate the color through either my shoes or my earrings. These neon pink earrings are the perfect touch to simple and clean out fit.