• Etinosa J Ogbevoen

Here's How to Make friends in a New City

We all know that when you upgrade to adult status you are prone to doing things you've never experienced, been trained for, or no one told you about. For example, paying bills, getting life insurance and building your credit. I'm still a little confused about all 3 of those things but with the help from Youtube University and handy dandy Google I've been able to figure some stuff out. If I can't get it from those two sources, there's probably an app to help me get my life together.

Another thing that people fail to mention is that once you live in the adult world you have to navigate how to make friends. For most of lives we have been placed in places with people our own age who were usually at the same point in life with us. We are in a bubble and it really easy to connect with people. Honestly, we have no choice unless you don't like people. If you're like me I need social interaction with people who are interested in similar things as me.

So that happens when you burst your bubble and move to a new city where you literally either know no one or just a handful of people. What are you possibly supposed to do to find friends. Where do you go? How do you strike up a conversation? Do you intrude on a already established friend group? AHHHHH You can easily go into panic mode thinking that you'll be a loner and the only friends you'll have are work friends. Have no fear I'm here to tell you about how I made friends (still making friends) in 2 new cities!!!

Remember when I said that there's an app for everything. Well low and behold there's an app for making friends. I'm currently using Bumble to make my friends. I know you're probably thinking, " I thought bumble was for online dating?" You're right Bumble is most commonly used for online dating. Did you know that they have 2 other versions. They have Bumble Bizz that is for networking and business related connections. The other version is called Bumble BFF for online friending. Online friending has now becoming a popular thing for people to do. It's hard making friends and this app makes it a lot easier.

Here's how Bumble Bff works. You create your profile just like you would for the regular Bumble. You add a bio of who you are and what you're looking for in a friend. They ask you some questions about how you identify. You answer some more random get to know you questions so people who come across your profile can get a sense of who you are. Lastly, you upload pictures and that's it.

Next you start swiping. I'm not going to lie swiping for friends is a little weird because you have to think are you being shallow like you might be on the regular bumble??? At first I was swiping on everyone that was around my age but then I had to start getting picky, like I actually had to start reading people's bios because I wanted to make genuine connections with the people I was matching with. So, I began to get picky about what I was looking for and where I was in life and how I could relate to someone. Some of the things I started to look for were if they were single (Remember I'm on a dating hiatus) Who enjoyed exploring new restaurants in Austin and who didn't have kids. (Nothing against the children I just can't relate at this moment in my life.)

Now that I've matched with people what happens next?!?!?! On the regular bumble version the girl usually reaches out to the guy but on Bumble Bff it's a free for all. Anyone can reach out but you only have 24 hours to do so or else that match goes away into the place where lost things go. There are no cheesy pickup lines or enuvnedos. Most of my conversations started with me or them asking " Hey How's it going?" or "Hi, How are you today?" After that that's when you rely on there profile to talk about something you have in common. (Talk about Netflix shows. Always a good conversation starter.)

So you know I'm talking to all these people on the app and what not. Then someone asks me to hang out AHHHHH!!! (Back in panic mode) I mean I knew the premise was to meet people in person but I did not except to for it to happen. Not going to lie I was a little skeptical at first... because stranger danger. But she seemed really nice and eager to make a friend and deep down inside so was I. My first Bumble Bff Date was amazing!! We met at a uber cute coffee shop and we talked for....OVER an HOUR!! I mean I just met her and we had already connected. Basically at the ed we confirmed that we were friends. lol

My second Bumble BFF date was also amazing. We went to happy hour and shared an appetizer. We laughed and swapped stories and told each other our stories and guess what I'm hanging out with her again because WE ARE FRIENDS!!!

I've gone on 3 dates so far. The third one was probably the icing on the cake because she messaged me on instagram before we even matched on Bumble. (this isn't weird because I put my instagram hands in my Bumble BFF bio.) Tell me why she's also loves taking pictures for the gram. She suggested a coffee shop to meet at and we just hit it off. We drank coffee and then afterwards TOOK PICTURES!!! do you understand how hard it is to find people who understand that I need a picture every where I go???? By the end we had made plans to hang out again for the next weekend.

Moral of this story is. You can make friends in a new city. Bumble BFF is a great tool that allows you to see who is open to making a new friend without it being awkward. Some tips I'd suggest. Check the app a couple of times a week. Start the conversation. Ask someone out. Be open minded. Have fun connecting with new people!